A short note. . .
. . .to all the guys who work in my building or live in my apartment complex or go to church with me:
if I want you to ask me out, I will let you know. I am aware that this is very odd, but trust me, if I am interested in you, I will make it very clear. Just ask my ex or various other guys I have pursued shamelessly and without great success. You will have no doubt that I want to go out with you.
And if I don't let you know that I want to date you, then please, don't ask me out or let me know that you "have a crush on me" or anything of the sort. I will interpret all invitations to lunch/dinner/drinks/church as a come-on unless I know you well enough to know that you mean it in a "just friends" way. And when I don't want to go out with you (and trust me, most of the time I don't), it's just uncomfortable and awkward for all of us. This is especially true if I can SEE YOU waiting in your car until I get out of mine or hanging around the parking lot around the time I leave work. If this happens and I give you some lame excuse as to why I can't go to lunch with you, then know that I have the nagging suspicion that you are stalking me. Seriously.
So guys, from now on, how 'bout a moratorium on asking me out. . .unless I tell you to, okay? Great, thanks.
posted by A. Lo @ 3:38 PM
10 Comments:
Ack! You just thrust a dagger into the heart of every timid guy who wasn't sure whether he should ask some other girl out or not. If I ever need a little extra practice maintaining my self-confidence in the face of rejection, I'll keep you in mind.
Incidentally, do you have any feel for what percentage of women feel the same way as you? Or any suggestions of what the signs are (before the guy asks) that a woman feels that way?
Sorry for scaring you, scoots. As far as I know, I'm the only girl who thinks/acts that way. Trust me, most girls like being asked out, even if they're not interested.
And even if you don't come out and say it, we usually know you're interested. Usually.
I, however, am really, really, really annoyed that lately, I seem to get hit on/asked out/etc. on a pretty regular basis, but never by a guy I have any interest in dating. This post was more of a response to the annoyance of finally getting asked out but by the wrong guys than anything else. It's exhausting.
This is probably also fueled by the fact that I am not a “random dater.” I prefer to go out with guys I have gotten to know first and with whom I have some things in common. So if I know a guy and I spend time with him and I’m interested, I’ll make it very clear. In the past, this has included sitting him down and letting him know, letting his friends know, obvious flirting, etc. I still want him to do the actual asking (so I’ll know that he’s interested), but like I said, very few other women work this way. I’m starting to think it’s just me.
Hope that helps.
HA! A.Lo...you make me laugh! =)
(random dating rocks. you're missing out.)
I take it this means we are not going out anytime soon. :(
Or.... Did you just mean for all the "other" guys not to ask you out so you would be free for me to ask you out.
Or... Are you just playing "hard to get"
(random dating rocks. you're missing out.)
Random dating is a lot of trouble for nothing. There's a reason blind dates have such a bad reputation.
Also, I doubt that most of you know that one of my worst dating fears is that my date and I will be forced to stare at each other across the dinner table because we have nothing to say and nothing in common. I can't stand silence with people I don't know, and usually come up with something stupid to fill it. (My latest gem is, "Wow, these cups say 'Pepsi' on them. How weird!" I don't want to repeat that again. It's just painful.) I can expound on that fear if you wish.
I take it this means we are not going out anytime soon. :(
Yes, that's what it means.
I choose that you are just playing "hard to get" and I will hit on you twice as many times as I have hit on you in the past. ;)
I choose that you are just playing "hard to get"
Unfortunately, you do not get to make that choice.
and I will hit on you twice as many times as I have hit on you in the past. ;)
Unfortunately, you do get to make that choice. But since you've hit on me 0 in the past and 0x2 is 0, you will continue, mathematically, to hit on me 0 times. Hooray for math!
Ahhh, I think she gets it now. LOL
Anyway you can't stop people from hitting on you. If I was you I would just smile and say to them "The offer was sweet, but you are not intrested in going out right now."
Anyway you can't stop people from hitting on you.
I realize that, but that was really not my point. None of the guys to whom this post was addressed read my blog, anyway. I was just expressing my general frustration.
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