Ranting: Advice on House Buyers

One of my best friends is buying a house. She is 22 years old and just happens to be single. Today, when she told a coworker that she would be spending next week moving, the coworker asked, "Oh, are you getting engaged?" as if getting engaged were the only good reason for a 22-year-old woman to be moving.

This friend also said that if one more person asks her if she is moving into a house by herself?! she is going to hurt someone. I can't say that I blame her.

What is wrong with people? I am appalled. My friend is taking a big step, a leap of faith, doing something scary and exciting and absolutely right, and people don't understand. It's as if they think she should just live at home until she gets married, as if she should refrain from taking any big steps in her life, avoid settling down at all unless she is tied down. There's nothing wrong with wanting your friends/family members/self to get married, but there is something wrong with the mindset that life does not begin until then.

As a single woman I find that "logic" offensive and absolutely archaic. My friend has every right to live her life and to keep it moving in a forward direction instead of sitting around at her parents' house, hoping her prince will ride up and start making all her choices for her, and I wish people would quit being so shocked by her incredibly brave decision to do so.

I would say that perhaps the people making such stupid comments are older, from my parents' generation, the generation of many people who have said to me that they sent their children to college to find "Good Christian spouses." (Let me say here that I was one of the few of my family to win that game. I even get extra points for bringing home a boy from a different denomination. Perhaps I get points deducted for having to have the "Are you a Lesbian" conversation with my mother before my Junior year, but I still come out ahead.)

However, these people are of all different ages, and they are all a little stupid, bless their hearts.

So you, smart people, intelligent readers of this blog: next time you meet someone who is moving, congratulate them if it is because they are engaged (I mean, that's a good thing, even I would like to get married someday). But if they are moving (especially if they are buying a house) and single--and not moving to be near someone of the opposite sex--be proud of them for not being afraid to live their lives. This is a great thing, one which requires large amounts of faith and causes even larger amounts of stress.

Barbie, you are doing the right thing, and I am in awe of your bravery and so proud of you.