Deal Breakers

So I have this friend who is in the very, very early stages of a relationship. I think in high school, we would've called this phase "talking." Anyway, she's at that point where you try to find out if the other person has something HUGE wrong with them so you can be sure if they're worth pursuing. That got us talking about "deal breakers," which I realize is a term that you might not be familiar with. I think it's a phrase we learned from Dr. Phil. (We used to watch his show when we were in college, because he made us laugh by saying things like "Yer fat 'cause you WANNA be fat!" That one stayed on the quote board for weeks.) Yeah, so Dr. Phil used the term "deal breaker" to describe something that you absolutely would not tolerate in a significant other.

I volunteered to post a list of the deal breakers we came up with so her potential new beau could take a look at them. Here's what we got:
1) Committed a homicide/other felony
2) Shortness
3) Gnarly teeth
4) Face-licking (Seriously. Guys, this is NEVER sexy. It does not turn us on, it just gets our face all gross. We have also determined that leading with the tongue when kissing is seriously bad form.)
5) No sense of humor
6) Old (Which we realize is relative. What's old to her is not necessarily old to me. But then again, I have dated some REALLY OLD guys. :-)
7) Not getting out of the car and coming to the door when you pick us up for a date. (Honking is NEVER allowed.) What are we, a bucket of fried chicken?
And one of my personal favorites (although maybe not one of hers):
8) Asking if you can kiss me. If you are relatively sure that kissing me is okay, then go for it. If not, then keep your lips off me, but don't ASK.

That's all I can remember from our conversation. If you think of any you'd like to add, feel free.

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