Oh Man, How Did I Miss This?

It took place in 2005, I think.

A Quote From Carrie Fisher

“If my life weren’t funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable.”

I bet it's the 1/3 that works on Capitol Hill. . .

Study finds one-third in D.C. illiterate

I am woman, hear me whine in frustration.

I was raised to be a strong woman, to believe that I could do anything I wanted to do and that I was destined for great things. I still firmly believe all of that. . .except perhaps when it comes to “home improvement” projects.

Recently, I have undertaken some small projects around the apartment, and 2/3 of them have not come out well. When I put together a cheapy cabinet I bought at Target (I’ll admit—I had to transport part of it to my parents’ house so my Dad could fix something that I couldn’t), I put one of the shelves in the wrong way, apparently. A cabinet that was supposed to be all white turned out to have one brown shelf. So did I take it apart and put it together all over again? You bet your sweet cheeks I didn't! (Besides, I faked it by using brute force to put most of it together the first time, anyway. I probably wouldn’t have been able to get it together again.) No, I painted the rogue shelf white and went on about my busy life.

Last weekend I borrowed a drill from my Dad and brought it home to install a (admittedly very cheap) curtain rod in my bedroom. It took me a while and a whole bunch of different drill bits, but I finally got a hole drilled. One. I got the little plastic stud-protector thing into the one hole, and then proceeded to put in the screw that came with the set. No problem. Then, however, I attempted to screw on the end of the curtain rod in exactly the same way as the little picture on the instructions dictated. No luck. The curtain rod end promptly fell off onto the floor. I investigated, and discovered that the screw is very small and the curtain rod-end is very big, so it makes sense to me that it wouldn’t stay on, but they all came in the same set. So what am I to do?

I don’t think they make screws big enough to hold up this curtain rod end-thingy. (That’s the technical term, in case you were wondering.) This means I am left with two curtains, one curtain rod, two stud protectors and three screws just sitting around on the floor in front of my bedroom window, taunting me. I wonder where I can rent someone who’s really good at this stuff. I have trouble even hanging pictures.

Still, I HATE the fact that I can’t do these things! I happen to be an intelligent woman--surely I can figure out a curtain rod or a cabinet. I can set the clock on my VCR, so this should stuff shouldn't be impossible, right?

Apparently not--the proof is scattered all over my bedroom floor.

Malaria, anyone?

One of the few times I wish I was still a student (although I realize that there are many, many students out there who probably need the eye-opening aspect of the trip more than I do).